How to talk to your doctor about how you're feeling
Bringing up low mood with a professional is hard — but you can walk in prepared. Here's what to do before, during, and after the appointment.
Before the appointment: prepare a rough map
You don't need a perfect script. You need a few honest notes, because clinics are busy and it's easy to forget the most important thing once you're in the room.
A checklist that helps:
- When did this start? A rough date or "about six months ago" is fine.
- How often and how bad? "Most days" or "some days" plus a rough scale (1–10) beats vague words.
- What has it changed? Sleep, appetite, energy, work, relationships, concentration.
- Your PHQ-9 results, if you took one — it's a clean, shared starting point.
- Anything physical that changed too, and any medications or supplements you take.
During the appointment: describe, don't perform
The single most useful thing you can do is speak in concrete, everyday language — what happens, how often, and what it stops you from doing.
You don't need to be dramatic and you don't need to be precise. Saying "I've been struggling and I don't know how to describe it" is a perfectly good opening — a good clinician will take it from there.
Questions worth asking
- "What do you think is going on, based on what I've described?"
- "What would you recommend — therapy, medication, lifestyle changes, or a mix?"
- "How long before I should notice any change?"
- "What should make me come back sooner?"
- "If I need a specialist, can you help me get a referral?"
What to expect
A first conversation is usually an assessment, not a verdict: the clinician asks questions, sometimes asks you to fill in a questionnaire, and talks through options. It's normal to leave with a plan that starts small — a follow-up, a referral, or a trial of something specific.
If the fit doesn't feel right — you don't feel heard, or the plan doesn't make sense — it's reasonable to get a second opinion. Finding the right person matters.
If it's hard to even start
- Write it down — you can hand the notes over and barely speak. That counts.
- Bring someone you trust — they can help you say things you're too tired to say.
- Start with telehealth — many people find video visits easier for the first conversation.
- Say the hard sentence first: "I've been having thoughts about not wanting to be here." A clinician needs to know this to help you properly.
If you're thinking about self-harm
Please don't sit with this alone — there are people trained to help, free and right now:
- US: call or text 988 (Suicide & Crisis Lifeline)
- UK & Ireland: call 116 123 (Samaritans)
- Mainland China: call 12356 (national mental health hotline, free, 24h)
- Everywhere else: findahelpline.com lists free local helplines in 130+ countries.
Common questions
Your PHQ-9 results if you took one, a short list of main symptoms with rough dates, any medications or supplements, and a couple of questions you want to ask. Notes in your own words are fine.
Use concrete, everyday language: how often it happens, what it stops you from doing, what changed recently. Examples like "I can't concentrate on work for more than ten minutes" are far more useful than a label.
That's completely normal. Write it down beforehand and hand the notes over, bring someone you trust, or say exactly that: "I've been struggling and I don't know how to describe it." Any good clinician will take it from there.
Not sure what to say yet?
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